Hailing from the cultural city of Varanasi, I was the first girl from my immediate and extended family to take up a job. I am also the first ever person from my family to have gone to an English medium school, first girl to study Science stream, first generation medico and civil servant in my entire family.

This fact has a huge impact on people in my area. Now girls’ education is taken seriously by them. The age-old notion that women inherently lack high mental abilities no longer holds. Girls are not married early now. 

I grew up watching the pathetic state of women around me. They were all badly treated, had low education, and were constantly reminded that they were incapable and lacked the abilities to perform well in life. I watched in dismay as girls were groomed to become good housewives and prepared to get married early.

My mother told me that education is the only antidote of this poisonous curse of our society and this always prodded me to study hard. I remember when I topped my district in 12th Boards exam with Biology and Maths, instead of praise, I was snubbed. I was told by some that the reason for my success was my good handwriting and not much should be read into it. My mother was asked to make me learn household chores and marry me off early. All these however, internally, continued to make me stronger and did not deter my determination to become a doctor. My parents tried to support me during all these years but they had their own limitations, besides societal pressure.

While working in a government hospital I was deeply moved by the gloomy situation which poor patients faced due to poor health infrastructure and expensive private treatment. On a few occasions I paid for my patient’s investigations and medicines. I gave medical services in free health camps and continued this even during my foundation course in LBSNAA Mussoorie and during my training at NADT Nagpur.

My first-hand experiences of India’s poor health system was a strong factor that inspired me to take the UPSC exam. But by that time I was already married in a village area near Jaunpur. Life for girls used to halt for eternity once they got married. If any married woman dared to aspire for a professional career, it was nipped in the bud! Unfortunately I couldn’t bargain enough before marriage to prepare for UPSC. This was because my parents had already risked their daughter to send outside for higher education (a taboo) and so nobody was ready to “allow” me to prepare for such an exam which couldn’t be cracked by any boy in my area till then.

The arduous UPSC preparation itself, post marriage, was a torture for me. I was taunted that this was my alibi to stay off household chores, and that I was selfish and disobedient. While deep within this kept strengthening my resolve, I would often break down, only to contain myself and rebound with a renewed vigor. I refused to give up. I wrote on my mirror in the room – “when going gets tougher, only tougher gets going’ and this became my mantra for lice.

I cracked the civil services in the first attempt with rank 362. I am happy that my story of resilience and success has had a huge impact on my society and community. There has been a qualitative shift in attitude of people - from being in a state of denial to that of affirmation, about girls’ education and life. Today, while they may differentiate between boys and girls, they no longer discriminate. Now girl child is not considered a burden, at least in my area. They have started sending their girls not only for higher education but even for hobby classes like dancing which was earlier considered a taboo for families. This gives me most satisfaction.

My gratitude to all those who have been part of my journey, especially during the tough and turbulent days.

Dr Priyanka Singh is a 2018 batch IRS officer and currently posted as OSD to PrCCIT Delhi