Bhopal: Rarely you find people who question the rituals of society and weddings! Marriages with all glitz and glam pass off as an occasion of celebration, photo opportunities and a family get together time. Traditions carried over since time unknown are followed by the families of bride and groom diligently, without questioning their justification and relevance!
However, 2018 batch IAS officer Tapasya Parihar of Madhya Pradesh cadre, has shown the mirror to aficionados of traditions in general and society at large in particular. Parihar, who scored 23rd rank in the 2017 UPSC exams, has hit the headlines by questioning and stopping the ritual of ‘Kanyadaan’ in her own wedding.
At her wedding, being held according to Hindu tradition with IFS officer Garvit Gangwar, at her Joba village in Narsinghpur district, Madhya Pradesh, she requested her farmer father Vishwas Parihar to forgo the tradition of ‘Kanyadaan’ to which he agreed happily.
“Since childhood I had heard about the ritual of ‘Kanyadaan,’ which I seriously hated,” she said. ‘Kanyadaan’ is a ritual followed in Hindu weddings signifying that the father is giving away his daughter to another family.
Her drawing of lines and putting a brake on blindly following the tradition is yet another step to check the commoditization of women. “Women are not commodities that you give as a donation or in charity, which the ritual ‘Kanyadaan’ signifies. A woman undergoes transformation in both attire and her name after her marriage and the ritual of ‘Kanyadaan’ demeans her position. On my request, both my parents and in-laws agreed to not follow this tradition at my wedding,” said Parihar.
The IAS officer is posted as Sub-Divisional Magistrate (SDM) at Senghwa in Barwani district, Madhya Pradesh, while Gangwar has come to Madhya Pradesh from Tamil Nadu cadre. Parihar has completed her schooling from Kendriya Vidyalaya and studied Law at the Indian Law Society’s Law College, Pune. Her quest for taking the UPSC exams was supported by her father and uncle Vinayak Parihar, who is a social worker. /BI/
